Step 1 in Dating

Believe in the Product you're Selling

 
Step one of finding the girl of your dreams is becoming and recognizing yourself as someone worthy of the girl of your dreams. To be able to effectively sell yourself to others you need to believe in the product you’re selling. What makes you a worthwhile person? Why would a girl be lucky to be with you? If you don’t have good answers to these questions you have other areas of your life that you should work on before turning your attention to finding a mate.

For me, I was very unsuccessful with women up until about the second half of high school. The single biggest change for me was that I became proud of the friends I had. In high school one of the biggest keys to your desirability is who your friends are. My friends and I were not the “A” crowd. I think until about half way through high school I was caught up in same bullshit as everyone else worrying about needing cooler friends.

Somewhere along the way something clicked for me. I realized that I had the most amazing friends in the world. They weren’t the most popular but they were very cool if you define cool the right way. They were loyal, caring, fun, intelligent, and interesting people. I looked at the kids who were in the “A” crowd. They didn’t treat each other particularly well and generally seemed like shitty people. In retrospect it seems ludicrous that I would have ever preferred to spend time with them instead of my amazing friends.

Once I recognized the quality of the friends in my life and took pride in it my confidence grew exponentially. These same friends who were once a limiting factor impairing my ability to get women were now a source of feeling self-worth facilitating my success. It was like night and day. And incidentally, these friends remain my best friends to this day.

I am not saying having quality friends is the key to having a strong sense of self-worth. In fact, I strongly recommend that each person stakes their sense of self-worth on a number of different facets of their life. This way they are not vulnerable to wild shifts in confidence as a given area of their life struggles. I just bring up this story to illustrate the difference that it makes when you are confident in who you are.

You need to find whatever it is that makes you worthwhile and desirable to a potential mate. First, don’t sell yourself short. Everyone has good qualities about them.  Ask your friends for help with this if you’re not sure. They’ll tell you why they like you. Second, if there are aspects about you that make you less desirable (everyone has room for improvement) then get to work on becoming a better person. Also remember potential counts. You don’t need to already be the best person you can be but you should be actively striving towards it. Once you feel good about yourself and your life, you’re in an infinitely better position to win over a mate.